Sick again?!

There are many moments in my entire
Motherhood journey where I'd feel completely beaten and taken down. Avril has been down with fever, followed up by a whooping cough and runny nose, two days back she developed rash on her body and we found out that it was the roseola virus.

As she grows older, she understands what's going around her and she knows that she CAN fight back and refuse us if she doesn't like it, just my luck, she absolutely hates taking her medicine. I used to distract her with my iPhone but lately, even the magic of the iPhone can't seem to make medication time peaceful.

We struggled the entire long weekend with vomit, medication, spilled Yakut from trying to bribe her, refusal to eat and drink milk.

I am so frustrated and tired, I just wish to hell all these would stop and I could rest and play with a happy baby. The renovations at home not helping at all, I don't think I've ever been so desperate for peace.

Today, we decided that she couldn't keep refusing her medications or she would never get well, I grabbed her in arms while she screamed and sobbed so hard and force fed her. I was crying inside.

Before I became a mother I cried at the slightest thing, if I fought with Papa J, if we said nasty things to each other etc. Ever since I had Avril, crying kinda became her priority so I took the back seat and became her comforter. I barely cry and when I do, it means I'm losing it.

When I saw my baby wailing non stop, I wish I had everything in my power to make her feel better. At that moment, I told myself hey, you got to buck up mummy! You can make her feel better! You have to!

We toured the house while she had her medications, it was bad but not as bad, she was distracted at least for awhile and she managed to take her medications. Thank God.

Motherhood gives me a surge of energy I never knew I had before. Every day is a battle being a parent, I never knew before.


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