20

MSorry for the weird disappearance, I've been packed to my neck trying to graduate and after that there was the whole haze that really drove me nuts and now Avril and I are trying to recover from this nasty bug again. 

Anyway, lots to fill you guys in but let's concentrate on now. 

I am 20 weeks pregnant today, more then halfway there seeing I'd be delivering 2 weeks earlier from the supposedly 40 weeks because I'm undergoing a C-section. I'm not particularly excited this time round because I'm really freaking out thinking about the whole Epidural and scalpel through my skin again ordeal. Child birth is not easy, whether natural or not. Anyway! Back to happier news. 

I went for my 5 months scan yesterday and I am delighted to be able to confirm the gender of my next child! 

He's a boy! 

As usual, he was moving around non-stop refusing to corporate with the lady doing the ultrasound, such rebels my children even before birth. Avril was really cute throughout the scan, she kept pointing at the black/white screen and said "Baby, baby!", I think she knows. I can't bring myself to imagine the two of them together. How much joy and anger they would bring into my life together. Haha. 

Now.. Since I'm halfway there, I figure I have to stop procrastinating and think about baby boys name starting with J and A, *ahem, that was the deal* girls like mama, boys like papa. We draw a very clear line in our family. Haha! Just joking. Avril's really a daddy's girl. 

She's putting my clips on her hair, pulling make-up off the dressing table and dolling herself up, I like that she's a mixture of both. She likes to rough it out but girly at the same time ya know? A little like me in that sense (haha who am I kidding, I have the least womanly traits in me). 

Having needing to prepare another child's arrival, it also got me thinking about life after birth. I am thinking (you guys are gonna be SO offended), I will refuse all guest's visit until bub's first month party (which might coincidentally be on my birthday). Whether at the hospital or home, I am limiting visits to healthy immediate family members only because I learn my lesson hard and cold from Avril falling sick 2 weeks being home and had to be on antibiotics! It was a nightmare and I will do everything to prevent another misfortunate event like that. I'm so sorry! 

Having being a little more aware then I was the first time breast-feeding, I have requested for immediate breast-feeding after birth and formula will NOT be an option!! Oh God, please give me the energy and determination to do this. I can do this!!! The plan is also to breast feed for a year this time round. 

This time round, I was hoping to avoid having a "confinement" and do what makes me comfortable. I absolutely love my confinement food so I'm not complaining about that but God, to not being able to bathe, touch water (is that possible?), step out of the house or switch on the air-con (and be wrapped up from top to toe) is insane!! We're living in a tropical country! The whole "trying my best to stick to old wives confinement rules" and having develop some really bad rash during my first confinement made me very depressed. I figure I'm not going to put myself under such emotional distress anymore since I will already have enough on my plate at that time. 

I am trying to console myself by telling me that life will be filled with pretty dreams again. One day. When my next little munchkin is sleep trained and sleeping through the night. Yeah, that would be my next big break. 

That sounds like a year from now. I can do this.