Having it wrong

So, we found out that AJ wasn't teething the last few days, she was having some throat infection thus the rejecting of milk and fussiness.  She ran her first fever yesterday.  She went up to 37.8 at the clinic, which wasn't that bad, gave her meds and her fever came down today.  Besides being clingy and fussy, she took it really well.

I must take my hats off her.  You know, babies are not as weak as we think they are sometimes, and they won't remember anything in their babies life so I'm not so concerned.  I thought I would be so sleep deprived but I was wrong!  I had more sleep then I ever had in 6 months, her naps usually last 2 hours straight and boy, I feel so good! 

I try to give in to her every request, to be carried, to sleep as much as possible, to drink/not to drink, that's fine by me.  Well, a sick person can have the moon and stars right?

 

"Mama, I just want to sleep, so stop taking pictures! I'm not going to smile! NO! SLEEP!!!"

 

 

After becoming a mother, my life revolves around establishing good sleeping habits, DHA, growth and development of a child.  I often hear others heroic stories of bringing up their own child and often, there are very different versions of "baby-ing"

 

Well for one, the older generations likes to keep their children awake.  Very often I wonder if it's for their sake or ours?

 

The younger generations mothers I've spoke to often encourage the "sleep begets sleep" practice.  Sleeping WELL in the day time often leads to a better good night sleep.  It has been a routine for AJ to sleep at 7pm every night ever since she was about 3-4 months old (which I am very thankful for, I didn't plan for it to happen, it just did, I just gave her what she wanted).

 

After awhile, when I realised there was a pattern in our daily life, I started reading up on schedules, routines and tried to stick to them.  Whenever my routine was broken, I was distraught because I was really mentally and physically tired at that point, I couldn't bear to have a crying fussy baby on my hands. (When I didn't have a maid yet)

 

I know how the older generations are skeptical our practise nowadays and I must admit when I was still pregnant, I saw myself playing with my baby at 9pm after work but after 6 months of studying her behaviour and trial and error, I know exactly what my baby needs!

 

At her age, she requires 11 hours of night time sleep and 3 hours of day time nap.  (If she doesn't, she gets cranky in between and wakes up more frequently throughout the night, it gets easier day by day so if our routine gets messed up once in awhile now.. that's fine)

 

At every night event, I usually skip bringing her because:

 

1) It will eventually become a habit

2) It is unnecessary disruption

3) She gains nothing from going out with us!

4) She is fussy and unhappy

5) I am usually the one having to deal with the aftermath.

 

And there's the contradiction, at one point of time, I woke Avril up from sleep to comply to a sleep schedule I was trying to get her on.  My aunt screamed at me and said I should NEVER wake a sleeping baby - which is true, I was wrong.

 

But at the same time, on Sundays, she would go .. "Don't go back so early la, baby sleep later never mind one ma"

 

I'm like .... yup.  Ok, let's stay and let her keep fidgeting and fussing ok?

 

NO! You have no idea how mentally exhausting it is to deal with an angry baby!  I reject her a hundred times out of a hundred times she asked and then slowly, she started to understand that I would not barge.

 



I know how relatives are disappointed at not seeing baby at night events and I always question if I'm doing the wrong thing by letting her sleep so early.  But after much discussion with the papa, we decided that our child's benefit and growth was our top priority.  We will have to deal with people's disappointment and stop feeling guilty for "thinking of my baby first". 

Of course.. we are also selfish.  We just want her to be as smart as possible in future because we're both ahem, not very extremely intelligent people. 

Call it the first time parent syndrome, we're guilty as charged.