It has been a week since I delivered and I have had some friends asking if I'm coping alright so I thought I'd post this up just to keep friends and family updated.
I opted for an elective C-section this time round and it went so well. I was in at the hospital at 8am for formalities and by 10am I had the nurses prepping me for the surgery. By 10.45am or so I changed into hospital gowns and walked into the operating theatre myself. It was a weird feeling.
I sat on the operating bed while a group of nurses and doctors questioned me non-stop about drug allergies, name and IC number. I was given my spinal jab, IV cathedral and hands warmer to keep the chills away. As before, KK's operating staff never fail to impress. My heart rate increased a bit in the midst of preparation out of fear but I knew I was in safe hands, everyone was congratulating me, making small conversations, keeping my mind off needles and pain. They told me I was such a good patient, strangely, they made me feel like I was a young child in school once again.
Shortly after my Gynea appeared above me, papa J was introduced into the theatre. He was dressed in scrubs and had his hands on my bare shoulders telling me it's ok. I couldn't help but shed a tear. It was a tug on my emotional strings, wow, he's with me this time round, watching Jonah arrive. I was getting drowsy from the relaxant by now.
"Who does he look like? Who does he look like?" I heard Dr Tan said while holding Jonah up. Bloody.
Papa J exited the theatre shortly after wishing Jonah a happy birthday and saying his hello.
I asked for skin to skin contact prior to birth so after Jonah was cleaned up and checked, he was placed on my bare chest. He was crying. I was glad he was crying. His cries were strong. Hush, ssh I told him. It's ok. The midwife told me "this one has to be carried and pampered!"
He was taken away from me again until I was wheeled into the post-surgery recovery room. There I was given a longer time to bond and look at his face carefully. This child looks familiar. He looks like my daughter, 20 months ago. I gave him a few thousand kisses, how nice it was to have a tiny ear listening to my heartbeat all over again, how nice it was to feel a tiny being plopped over me, giving me warmth.. Just as I was giving him.
Post surgery, we had some quiet alone family time which was really nice. It was very heart warming to watch Avril take to her didi so lovingly. She opened her present and it was nice soaking up that moment, my two children together. These days, it has gotten even better with Avril planting kisses on his head, asking to carry him (under supervision and help of course), she lifts his hand up and waves hello for him, takes off his socks and mittens and ask for didi whenever she comes into the room.
What have I done to deserve such a precious child?
Two days in the hospital, I had friends and family coming over to visit, thank you folks! It was so good for my soul. Back home, I've had some breast feeding issues - cracked nipples, engorgement but I've got all that sorted out, now we're on a good supply (very thankful!). Jonah is an extremely good baby, he wakes up for feed so very often but in comparison, I think I have it pretty good since all he does is basically feed, burp, sleep.
I miss my alone time with Avril very much so I make an effort to enrich her in light weight play any time possible but I still feel guilty occasionally when I can't give in to her request because I'm feeding Jonah or that it is too strainous for me.
Jonah sleeps like a log, we can be screaming and singing, hitting on drums and Avril shrieking but he sleeps. He sleeps when he wants to. He is God send, I hope he stays this way.
Holding on very tightly to Papa's finger.