Life in a bundle

So, it's almost three weeks now and I think I broke about all the continent rules. Haha. Honestly, I'm not making excuses for myself but if I didn't, I think I'd be terribly depressed by now. I take walks with Avril in the noon when it's not too hot (without Jonah, mostly when he's sleeping soundly so he doesn't miss anything haha). Funny, it's what I look forward to all day. Letting Avril put coins into the vending machine down the street and watch her bring the cold can drink home proudly. 

Sometimes I even drink them. Sips. Sometimes one, sometimes two. In my opinion, as important as our physical health might be (according to how the confinement rules are supposed to keep us strong and fit), I believe that our mental health cannot be neglected too. I feel like a new person each time I come back from my walks, awake and alive, not sluggish from staying home all day facing a newborn who wants to nurse non-stop and a 20 months old who requires stimulation. 

A mother's state of mind plays a big part in her children's life. 

Sensory play with a bucket of oats. 

Yesterday we played with ice and sand. Ever since I became home-bound, it was necessary to constantly find new activities to make sure that Avril is not just wasting her time around at home. 

Being a mom of two is albeit like being in love with two men. It is having to spilt your time into half for two individuals that you love so much and when one gets more of your time, you get a guilt strike towards the other. Jonah doesn't require much playing with now, all he needs is milk from my boobs and lots of cuddles. Avril has learnt to wait because I'm feeding or changing Jonah or just needs to do something. 

She is such a loving sister but there are times she just wants to be babied so I let our helper take Jonah and I give her a little of mommy's alone time - sole attention. 

I cannot ask more from Jonah. He feeds, he sleeps, he burps, he looks at me dreamily sometimes and seem happy enough listening to our non-stop chatter. He loves falling asleep on my chest, I'm not complaining. Only he gets all clingy in the late noon. Something about it he hates. Maybe he could feel our restlessness. Or he just can't stand us yapping non-stop. 

I also would like to salute all mothers who are breastfeeding on demand. For Avril, I was partially breastfeeding supplementing with formula (why did I do that? Ignorance. Mothers in Singspore has to be more educated about breastfeeding!). This time round, I work round the clock according to Jonah feeding him on demand, even at night. I collected some breastmilk but it's almost useless because I have so much milk if he doesn't feed I'd be engorged. 

I am so tired.... From breastfeeding. Seriously. It's something no one can help you with. Last night, I fed him, changed his diapers and was awake for an hour, then I spent the next hour trying to fall back asleep. -.- 

But if you ask me, there is a difference. I feel bonded with Jonah a lot quicker then with Avril. Then again.. It could be because I'm an experienced mummy now. Hehe.



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