Sorry for the lack of updates!

So the biggest event that has been going on lately is that..

We hired a helper, who came slightly more then a week ago. Her name is Joy. Well, up till this point I still feel a little conflicted about hiring help because if you ask me, I'd rather do everything myself.

But obviously, with my new commitments like school and driving classes.. It's hard to deny that I Do need someone to fill up the gaps.

The first week of having Joy around was quite difficult. You know, maid agencies must stop teaching them the wrong things! Do you know that they're taught to say "Yes mam" to everything even if they don't understand?" Fine, if you're doing the household chores, there are room for mistakes, but for child care and elderly care? I don't think that's right.

I was so angry one afternoon I snapped at my maid and told her I don't care what your maid agency taught you. Do not say yes if you don't understand, ASK if you don't!

It was constant worry and "hard to let go" on my part, I have been the sole caregiver for AJ after all for the past 4 and a half months or so. And I love it! Despite being perpetually exhausted and having to sacrifice my life, I love it from the bottom of my heart.

After Joy came, she has been bathing AJ every day and I can't lie. I miss doing it myself. Yes.. I can do it myself but if I do, then why in the world did I hire a maid for? And she has nothing to do!!! Blah.

I don't think anyone except the fellow SAHM would understand this. Some people ask me "Not bored meh? Everyday stay at home?"

Of course not everyday is bright and chirpy, some days are a little dull, some a little frustrating but you know? The bigger part of the pie makes up happy good rolling funny exciting days. How can you not have fun with somebody you love? Do you love being with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Same theory. Only we love our child more then you love your other half.

Especially the first time she tries her cereal, the first time she sat on a chair, the first time she chuckled, the first time she rolled. Yes! AJ can roll now! She has been rolling ever since she mastered her rolling skills. Hmm. A tad annoying sometimes when you wanna take a shower and she flipped over on her own and you have to rush out of the shower to rescue her because obviously she wants to be on her back to roll AGAIN.

But I guess my point is, even with a helper, I still want to do everything on my own when it comes to baby-ing.

When I told a few friends and relatives about my plan to hire a maid and go back to work soon, some exclaimed in horror and told me how important a child developmental growth is in her first 3 years. Of course I know that. But life isn't made up of strawberries field and a glorious sunset.

I wanted to go back to work once the maid settles down but between earning that extra 3 months of salary and an extra 3 moths of knowledge of my child (my maid only knows how to oohhh ahhh babyyyyyy at AJ), I guess I choose the latter. I'm not the noble one here, Papa J is the insistent parent in our relationship, he's always looking out for what's best for AJ, sometimes a little too much for me to take but I guess hey, this isn't something to complain about!

With Papa J working and having on going classes now, I am grimacing at the fact that she'd have absolutely none of us around if I start working too. And I really don't want AJ to remember her childhood without her parents.

Every family has their own set of belief, financial status obviously and parenting style. I'm taking one step at a time and hopefully when we come to the end of this bridge, we'll figure a perfect plan.


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